This one was highly requested and a topic I think everyone in some point in their life have experienced, or will experience.
Comparisons.
Let me ask this, Who are you?
Have you met anyone exactly like you?
Have you met anyone with the same exact experiences as you?
Anyone with the same story as you?
I'm pretty sure the answers to those questions will be no and I want you to keep those questions in mind while reading this blog piece.
The hashtag '#By23' was trending on Twitter recently, which makes it an even more timely blog. It's amazing that so many young people have done so great and are doing amazing things and I'm here for celebrating it. Celebrate yourself, your achievements, anything you are proud of, because people really don't know the half of what it took to achieve those things.
On the other hand of these celebrations, are persons who find themselves questioning their own achievements, where they are currently in life and if they are doing enough.
Let me tell you this straight up, not sugar coated, COMPARISON IS A WASTE OF TIME.
You shouldn't feel like you aren't allowed to express your emotion of wanting more etc., it's ok, many of us experience that. But so many attributes of life, make it a waste of time to even compare yourself to others.
Your life can literally change tomorrow, it takes ONE thing to make a significant change in your life. All the work you are putting in or will be putting in, takes ONE shift for everything to change in your life and fall into place. That one thing can happen at 17, 23, 29, 35 or 40. It doesn't matter, but the fulfillment arriving is what will mean the most when it happens.
We are not meant to have the same journey as others.
Everybody's book can't be the same.
It's pointless, to therefore expect your life to be written like everyone else's journey. Find peace with your current situation, your timing and your reality.
Not achieving something by a certain age doesn't mean you have failed. You have life which means the opportunity to achieve what YOU want, still exists.
Spend less time feeling bad about your situation and more time writing your own story, making your journey more and more unique to you.
It's very easy for comparison to arise when you already have preexisting doubts about your capabilities and your journey. It is human nature to sometimes feel doubts, but I don't think it's human nature to compare yourself to others. But I do think you have the ability to readjust your responses to things in life.
Social media plays a significant role in the habit of comparing. It contributes to the idealistic image and expectation that people will yearn for. But YOU have to make every effort within yourself to find peace and acceptance with your own journey.
The more time you spend trying to copy and paste from others' journey, is the more you subtract from the beautiful unique story that needs to be written for you. There is a lot to learn from observing others' journey but it should never be the manuscript for your journey.
In my three years of university, I never met anyone like me. My goals were not the same as those I was studying with, and my personality wasn't the same either. I would be doing an injustice to myself to aspire to their achievements and not my own.
It takes a certain level of belief, trust and acceptance to release comparison. And this has to be curated. Once you are fully aware that your journey is special to you, you will also realize that it is pointless to compare yourself to others.
I also think society has placed individuals' value based on their achievements. For example, a student that can get good grades continuously, is a good student and a student who may have a great purpose elsewhere and excels in other areas, may not receive the same accolades.
Thus, many of us have internalized this expectation and compare our current situation to what society has told us is the 'ideal standard'.
People will have great accomplishments and hold back on sharing them or choose to downplay it, because it doesn't equate to what ‘everyone' has achieved. That's a sabotage to your personal happiness.
It's also ok to not want to consume content that makes you feel bad about yourself. If you have to take a break from social media because a conversation is triggering something inside of you that is negative, it's completely ok. We are humans before we are anything else.
Life is filled with so many things and events being placed before you, but it's how you control your response that is important.
You can choose to consume it and feel bad about yourself and sink into a hole. Or you can choose your response, by choosing to reassure yourself. Yes, you may have an instantaneous feeling towards something, but when this happens, reassure yourself that your journey, your unique personality, your goals, are all different from these people, therefore let me choose to not allow myself to sink into a hole because of this feeling. Reassure yourself.
Life becomes so much easier when you learn to control your mind. Your mind is internalizing a lot and being combined with emotions, so I recommend taking small steps to control your mind and how it responds to things. This can allow you to make the mind shift when you feel yourself comparing yourself to others.
It's a process, but you have to start the process to get the results that will help you.
I really hope you enjoyed this blog post and I hope you will remind yourself of the important takeaways from this post.
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